Parenting in a Pandemic
I am sure there are many words that we could use to describe 2020, but as a mum of two small children my word would be struggle.
Parenting under normal circumstances can feel like a whirlwind, but when lockdown was first announced, I am sure I wasn't the only one that felt a knot of anxiety in the pit of their stomach.
There was certainly a lot to be thankful for during that time. Yet, unsurprisingly, it proved to be far harder than I could have imagined and as the weeks rolled on I began to feel a deep heaviness & exhaustion. I wasn’t coping as well as I had hoped and that old enemy crept in, whispering the lies we so commonly hear as parents;
You’re not good enough
You're failing at this.
It wasn't until I was sitting on a bench one rainy summer evening with a dear friend that it dawned on me that what I needed most at this time was not to hide my struggles but to share them. So in the midst of an honest conversation, I shared that I really wasn’t coping and that I felt like I was failing as a mum. Thankfully it was with great kindness that my friend assured me that this was not true and I wasn’t alone in feeling like this.
Because up to this point, it was very easy to feel alone and feel like I should be able to cope, that to have any kind of help would feel like a failure on my part. Yet I've learnt through this year, that we are not meant to do any of this on our own.
Community is at the heart of who we are and we see this as image bearers of a God who is Himself community: Father, Son & Spirit loving one another for all eternity and overflowing with love to create us. It's in Genesis 2 that we see God declaring it was not good for Adam to be alone so he made Eve, forming the first human community & commissioning them to expand it.
We have the need for community etched on our hearts.
Yet there were times where it felt like lockdown took that away and it became easier to get into a cycle of loneliness, disconnection and unhappiness. And it's here that we start to believe the lies.
But the truth is that God continues to draw us to himself in those times. He doesn’t just leave us in the darkness to struggle, but instead he walks with us, breaking that cycle and bringing us into a community where we can limp together through each day.
This community is the church. It's a place for broken and hurting people that can be vulnerable together, sharing struggles & reaching out to one another. And like my friend who sat with me on the park bench, it doesn't have to happen in church buildings or big gatherings, but it can be through the smallest of acts, showing great love to one another, which reflects a God who loves us and continually offers himself as a place of refuge.
We see this beautifully in Psalm 91:1-2 where it says:
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
It is a truth that has been a balm to my soul. A truth that says even through the struggles of parenting & navigating life this year, I know my refuge is in the Lord. It is in Him where I find shelter in a raging storm.
But I am not alone there. I gather with others, sheltering together under His mighty wings, where we say to one another; He is our refuge and we can trust Him. We remind each other of His goodness and fill our hearts with the light of his truth, banishing the lies back into the darkness.
Cat
Cat lives in Devon with her husband and two young boys. She is a stay at home mum, who loves reading, being outdoors and being creative in any possible way.