How to sit down on the inside

The Sound of Metal opens with the bittersweet soundtrack to Ruben’s (Riz Ahmed) life. Music is his passion and livelihood as the drummer in a punk-metal band. It also marks out his morning rituals, it brightens his many road trips, and it’s a means of connecting with his girlfriend and bandmate Lou (Olivia Cooke).  

Sound is the way Ruben expresses himself – on every level. So, when Ruben begins to lose his hearing, his whole life is smothered.  

Scared he’ll turn back to heroin, Lou drops Ruben off at a rehab centre for the deaf. There he is welcomed by Joe (Paul Raci), and there he must work out who he is without sound.  

Learning to be deaf  

First-time director Darius Marder went to extreme lengths to help us enter into Ruben’s world, hence the Oscars and BAFTAs for sound and editing. When Ruben hears a piercing sound, distorted music or complete silence, we hear that and that only. Subtitles are burned into the actual film, but American Sign Language (ASL) is not translated. Hearing viewers join Ruben as outsiders. 

All the residents of Ruben’s new home are deaf. Ruben is welcomed into this vibrant community, even though he can’t communicate or contribute.  

All those in the deaf community onscreen are played by deaf actors, except Paul Raci, who grew up in deaf culture as a CODA (child of deaf adults). It is clear, we have a lot to learn from the deaf community.  

Deafness is presented not as a disability to fix, but as a different way of life to embrace. A life of deep connectedness. Joe makes it clear to Ruben when he arrives: ‘We’re looking for a solution to this [points to his head], not this [points to his ears].’ 

Embodying what you say 

What is it in Ruben’s mind that is keeping him from deep connection? Riz Ahmed describes what he learned about himself as he prepared for his role:  

“I’ve truly learnt the meaning of the word communication from the deaf community. Understanding what it is to not only hide behind your words, but to embody what you are saying, physically”.

Do the sounds we make really express who we are, or are they just a lot of noise to hide behind? Joe invites Ruben to start a habit each morning that might unravel what has been going unsaid:  

Sit. Write. Continuously without stopping until you feel like you can sit again. If it’s too difficult then you should come find me, doing the same thing as you. I’ll be writing too. 

Joe embodies his words. A Vietnam veteran and a recovering addict, he has been through what Ruben is enduring. Every morning, he goes to his study ahead of Ruben, laying out hot coffee, a doughnut, paper and a pen for Ruben, and then he goes and writes himself. Joe communicates with a stark integrity.  

Moments of stillness 

At one point, when Ruben feels certain that nobody cares if he lives or dies, Joe asks him about his writing:  

All these mornings you’ve been sitting in my study, sitting, have you had any moments of stillness? … For me, those moments of stillness, that place, that’s the Kingdom of God, and that place will never abandon you. 

The Bible describes this practice that Joe has introduced Ruben to as prayer. It’s pouring out your heart before a God who will never abandon you. It’s that peace that only comes from knowing his unfailing love for you in the middle of your failures. It’s seeking that safe silence, that stillness in his presence and in your soul.  

During the lockdowns, our hectic lives were momentarily stilled. But, what about our minds and hearts? A wave of anxiety has followed in the pandemic’s wake. What does it take to sit down on the inside, and how do we join Joe in helping others discover it?  

Another man who embodied what he said was Paul. He wrote some advice to a community he was encouraging, showing them how to sit down on the inside: 

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 

Who is Ruben without sound? Who am I when I feel like an outsider, when I have nothing to offer, when I can’t fix my anxious thoughts?  

We don’t know what Ruben wrote in that study, but the Lord knows what is going unsaid in our minds. He will calm our anxieties and quiet us. And because he hears us, we can model what it means to communicate in our silences. We can build Kingdom-of-God spaces where hearts are heard.  

By Holly Price