Hope Amidst the Pain

This weekend I watched ‘Athlete A’, the Netflix documentary depicting the exposure and subsequent conviction of US gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar for the sexual abuse of young women and children under his care, and the subsequent cover up by USA Gymnastics. The impact of this man’s abuse on young women was devastating.

Part of my work both now and in the past has been listening to people, and I hear a lot of stories both in and out of work. Several people have shared their own personal stories of abuse, whether physical, sexual or mental. In those moments I firstly listen. I try to demonstrate by my presence as much as my words that, although they often feel deep shame, my opinion of them has not changed by what they have shared. My focus in the moment is on them and how I can support them best.

Whilst this is their story and their pain, there is no question that abuse leaves a wider mark. Afterwards I need to do the work of allowing my own reaction and emotions to surface. Whatever evil crosses our path in this world – whether abuse, death, serious illness or some other form of suffering - where do we go to process all that we feel?

In UK culture I think our most common response is to get out the broom. Processing suffering, whether our own or of someone we love, is messy. It’s hard work and our emotions can feel overwhelming and uncontrollable. The British stiff upper lip lives on and we avoid the expression of strong emotion. So we sweep, sweep, sweep, safely under the carpet. We avoid the subject (and those who are suffering) because we don’t know what to say or do. The problem with this approach is that we end up with a very bumpy carpet… And eventually all those unprocessed thoughts and emotions make an unwanted, unannounced and loud intrusion into our lives.

Is there a better way? I believe there is. As a past master of floor sweeping, I’ve tried avoidance many times and I’m now absolutely convinced it doesn’t work. What’s changed my mind and actions is Jesus. Thankfully he was not a British man, and the Bible contains many honest expressions of pain. The God of the Bible encourages the real and messy process of calling out what is wrong in this world and lamenting it. More than that, he is a Father who invites us to hop onto his lap and beat our fists on his chest. He’s big enough to take it.

Now when I encounter abuse, I go straight to God and let it all out. I shout, cry and ask how he could allow it to happen and why he did not intervene. I question whether he can call himself good at all in the midst of such suffering. Then I let him remind me that he is perfectly just and that nothing is unseen in his world or will go unpunished. And most of all I look to Jesus, the Son of God, who willingly put himself forward to be abused by men so that he could remove the shame of those who are abused and bring healing, cleansing and closeness to all who suffer.

Susie Ford

Susie lives near Dundee in Scotland and works in ministry. She loves meeting friends and hates writing blurbs about herself.