Worthy
I remember when I was about six years old, swinging on the front gate of my house, singing as loudly as I could hoping that someone would walk past and discover my talent. I was desperate to be noticed. I wanted to be impressive. I wanted to be valued.
As I grew older, though I no longer swung on my front gate singing my heart out, that desire to be seen and known and valued has always stayed with me. It is a human being thing. We have a built-in desire to be known and loved and valued for who we are. When all my close friends met boys at university and I didn’t, I wondered what was wrong with me. When I got my first proper grown up job, I remember being so desperate to please my boss and feeling mortified when I got something wrong. Oh the insecurities I have felt over the years, when I’ve felt like I have messed up!
But from an early age, I also knew Jesus. I knew that Jesus was not just a person in an old story book called the bible. I knew that Jesus is alive now and that he loved me so much, he thought I was worth dying for. So although I never did get discovered for my singing voice (and the world should be very grateful for that) I knew that the God of the universe had left heaven in order to make me his and although his plan for me wasn’t to be an X Factor winner, he did have plans for me. Plans that he had had since before the creation of the world.
The more time I have spent getting to know Jesus through reading the bible and following him, I have come to realise that I could not be more loved, more known, more cherished, valued and celebrated even because I am loved by him. Jesus loves me and because of that I am growing everyday to be more of who he created me to be. Of course, I still have my insecure moments – but when things go wrong, or when I feel misunderstood or overlooked, I know deep down that my confidence does not come from what other people think of me. It comes from what Jesus thinks of me. And Jesus, well he took all my short falls, all my sin and shame and carried them to the cross and in return he gave me his righteousness. A rightness with God, an acceptance, a big fat welcome into the family with arms stretched wide. The bible says that angels cheer in heaven when one person gives their heart to Jesus. So knowing that God is on my side and that God calls me his precious daughter, I can walk tall. I can confidently embrace the life he has given me, never feeling crushed when I make mistakes. No longer desperate to earn the approval of others. I can make brave steps into the unknown and be myself completely.
I have three children now and I just love it when I see each of them completely at ease with being themselves. Not trying to impress or grab attention but bravely doing their thing, whatever that thing happens to be. As mum, I get this little insight into what that looks like – when others might see them being reserved or shy or too afraid of failure or what other people think to join in. If you know what it’s like to battle with insecurities, perhaps you’d like to explore the God who loves you completely, and know how worthy you are so that you might bravely do your thing and be who he created you to be without fear or need to impress.
Lizzie Bassford
Lizzie lives in Manchester with her three kids and husband Tom. Lizzie is passionate about the poor and works as a free-lance facilitator for the Poverty Truth Commission. Lizzie loves reading, writing and watching things grow. During lockdown Lizzie has enjoyed her new allotment, sitting down for Church with a cup of tea and learning to knit bobble hats.